Finding love online has never been easier. Whether through dating apps, social media, or even gaming platforms, technology has opened up new ways to connect with people across the world. But with these opportunities comes a hidden danger – romance scams. In 2024 alone, Australians lost over $23 million to these fraudulent schemes, and the real number is likely much higher, as many victims never come forward. 

So, how do these scams work? And more importantly, how can you protect yourself from becoming a target? 

How romance scams work 

A romance scam isn’t just about stolen money, it’s about emotional manipulation at its finest. Scammers pretend to be someone they’re not, creating elaborate online profiles designed to lure people in. Sometimes, they steal photos and identities of real people (a tactic known as “catfishing”), and in some cases, they even impersonate celebrities or public figures. 

At first, they seem like the perfect match – attentive, charming, and eager to build a connection. They’ll message you constantly, shower you with affection, and may even declare their love within days or weeks. This tactic, known as “love bombing,” is meant to make you feel special and emotionally invested before you’ve had time to question anything. 

But then, things take a turn. Once they’ve gained your trust, the requests start. It might begin with a small favour – perhaps they need help covering an unexpected medical bill, or they’re stuck in a difficult situation and just need a little support. The stories vary, but the end goal is always the same: to get your money, personal details, or both. 

The red flags of a romance scam 

There are several warning signs that the person you’re talking to might not be who they say they are. One of the biggest is the speed of the relationship. Scammers don’t waste time, they want to establish a deep emotional connection quickly, so they’ll often profess their love early on. If someone you’ve just met online is already talking about a future together, be cautious. 

Another classic red flag is their reluctance, or outright refusal, to meet in person or even video chat. There’s always an excuse: they’re working on an oil rig, stationed overseas in the military, or stuck in a remote or dangerous location. No matter how convincing their reasoning sounds, a genuine romantic partner would want to connect with you in real life when possible. 

Then comes the financial request. At first, it may seem like an urgent but believable crisis. They might claim a family member is in the hospital and needs immediate medical care. Or they might say they’ve come into an inheritance and need your help transferring funds. Some scammers even pretend to be struggling financially, saying they can’t afford food or support their children. 

Once you send money, the requests won’t stop. If you hesitate, they’ll guilt-trip you, saying things like, “I thought you cared about me,” or, “You’re the only one I can turn to.” Every time you give in, they’ll find another excuse to ask for more. And unfortunately, the money is almost always impossible to recover. 

How to protect yourself 

So, how can you avoid becoming a victim of a romance scam? The most important rule is never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. No matter how long you’ve been chatting or how real their feelings seem, if they ask for financial help, it’s almost certainly a scam. 

Another useful trick is to do a reverse image search on their profile photo. Scammers often steal pictures from other people’s social media accounts or stock image websites. If the same photo appears under multiple names, you’re likely dealing with a fraudster. 

Be cautious about sharing personal information, too. Some scammers don’t just want your money, they’re after your identity. They may ask for photos, videos, or even copies of your passport or driver’s license. If they obtain compromising material, they could use it to blackmail you later. 

And finally, trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Real relationships take time to develop, and anyone who rushes things or tries to make you feel guilty for questioning them isn’t someone you want in your life. 

Final thoughts 

Online dating can lead to wonderful connections, but it’s also a space where scammers thrive. The best defence is awareness. By recognising the warning signs and staying educated, you can protect yourself, and your heart, from falling into the trap of a romance scam. 

If you ever suspect you’re dealing with a scammer, cut off contact immediately and report them to Scamwatch. Love should make you feel happy and secure, not leave you emotionally and financially drained.